Being Gay

[Bwayfan292]

Posted: 4/29/18 at 11:23am

After having an internal battle with myslef for the last two years, ive finally accepted that im gay. Being gay was a hard idea for me to grasp. With having homophobic and conservative parents I felt like I had to live my life as a lie to make them proud. But then i reliazaed its my life and I want it to be happy. Has anyone gone through similar experinces? Do your parents end up accepting you for who you are?

[phantom8019]

Posted: 4/29/18 at 11:46am

Hey there,

Good job. Accepting yourself is the most basic thing, yet it manages to evade many. It's very important that you live your life as the person who you are intended to be--that is, as your true and unique self. Life is too short to waste time on what others may think. And having made this decision to be true to yourself will give you the character, experience, and integrity to deal with many other different issues life may throw at you. 

As for your parents and others accepting you, you will find that most will eventually come around in their own way, though some may never. Don't get hung up on one particular person. Widen your social circle and find support in other places if you need to. 

Updated On: 4/29/18 at 11:46 AM

[haterobics]

Posted: 4/29/18 at 3:02pm

Homophobic conservative parents often can be both things when the target is some distant bogeyman they don't have any interaction with... and when faced with info that forces them to challenge their beliefs, most typically come around. Sadly not all but a seeming majority do... or you may get a pass, but not those "other gays," etc. In any event, it's always the right decision to live your best life.

[BroadwayConcierge]

Posted: 4/29/18 at 3:41pm

PM'd you

[ahhrealmonsters]

Posted: 4/29/18 at 7:15pm

Congratulations on this huge step of self-acceptance. It took me a while to get there, as I am a fairly religious person from a fairly religious background, with old-fashioned parents. When I told my mom, she already knew and was accepting, even if she says inappropriate things from time-to-time. I have actually never come out to my dad (we have a very complicated relationship, and he's a complicated person), but he did go to his cousin's same-sex wedding last year, even when he openly opposes same-sex marriage. You don't have to come out until you're ready. You've got this! :)

[TotallyEffed]

Posted: 4/30/18 at 2:12am

It can be very difficult at first but being gay is actually a fabulous gift.

I recommend picking up a copy of The Velvet Rage as soon as possible.

Follow your heart.

[dramamama611]

Posted: 4/30/18 at 9:52am

Surround yourself with love, so when you hit bumps in the road you have people there to steady you.  Take things at YOUR pace...however slow or fast that may be.  And remember, you may need to give them time, but I hope you are greeted with hugs.

[Bwayfan292]

Posted: 4/30/18 at 11:03am

Thank you guys so much for the support and the advice, it really means alot.

[BroadwayNYC2]

Posted: 4/30/18 at 7:26pm

When you can't find comfort in people, read! Watch movies or TV with LGBT characters. Reading helped me realize a lot about myself and comforted me when I wasn't very comfortable with myself. Seeing yourself represented in a positive light can make all the difference. 

I wasn't the biggest fan of THE VELVET RAGE, but I'd still recommend it. The book may not fit every gay male like a glove, but you are bound to find something that speaks to you. 

[SweetLips]

Posted: 5/6/18 at 2:49pm

I have never understood this need to 'come out'. Life is about evolving--like a plant--it starts life as a seed or bulb and then slowly grows and blossoms.

Society/religion/parents/relations can place an unnecessary burdon upon you when trying to shape/grow into your life but always remember it is YOUR life and not an image of what THEY think you should be.

Act however you want, gather friends whoever they are and then those around you can decide for themself who/what you might be--it really is none of their business what you might do with your willy.

 

We get ONE shot at life so don't waste precious time deciding when to 'come out'--be true to yourself, go on a self-discovery when ready, find similar, gather them around then parents should soon see you for who you are.

Each situation is different so it is difficult to generalise so...

I hope they love you for the person you will become.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 5/7/18 at 8:12pm

I never officially came out to my parents, but they knew. My Mother attended ny Life Partner's (it was 93' funeral after he passed from AIDS at 34. She pulled me aside at the funeral and said, "There is nothing to say or worry about. I have know for a long while. I cannot imagine what it is like to lose a partner!". My Dad lambasted me for not telling him of Kevin's illness. "I liked the kid! Oh, and by the way, I knew about you!". You might find yourself surprised. Congrats though, you took the first big brave step. As you get older you will realize it becomes more and more less important.

 

[robskynyc]

Posted: 5/7/18 at 9:16pm

You should watch LOVE, SIMON. that movie reminded me A LOT of my coming out experience, especially with how my parents reacted and how terrified I was.